fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize