My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
