In the future we'll all be gay
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
