1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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