it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Randomize
