...so i touched it.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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