they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
