I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I want her autograph on my taint
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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