remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize