I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
