i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
