it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
