Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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