ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
