i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
