Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
