I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
