I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
So many bounce houses so little time
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
