the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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