Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
