my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
