all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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