so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize