oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
A bitchslap is in order.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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