do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
