I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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