I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
