Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
