Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Randomize
