Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
