I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
