The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
