Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
