Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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