I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize