A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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