...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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