it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
