My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
