Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
