my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
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