I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
