how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
