So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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