if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
