She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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