We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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