just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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