I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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