I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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