i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
