It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
