Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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