R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
