we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
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idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
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Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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