my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
