I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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