You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize