Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize