It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
