A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
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