You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
honey bunches of taint.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
