She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
A+ Viking dick
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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