ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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