I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
