if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
The adults are the big ones right?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
